Emotional Instability

It really burns me when I care about someone, and all I get in return is a cold shoulder.

I try so hard to be nice, accomodating and caring...But it doesn't seem to be enough.

What am I?

A rag doll?

To be thrown about as and when it seems convenient?

I feel so hurt.

But no one cares.

Guess I should go back to being my old self. A void where no emotion could affect me....

Yeah. Sounds like a good plan. I don't need anyone.

I've stood alone for so long, I can do it again.

I need no one.

A night of sin and splendour

Lol. NOT!

But I did get you reading :D

The bunch of us went out yesterday to meet up...Coz Nigel is leaving for Reading this coming Wednesday.

So to customary Chilli's we went :D

And the best part was that Datin Matilda joined us!! (she's our teacher advisor for the newsletter we founded back in high school)

She's such a fun fun fun teacher. And seeing her dressed so casually was kinda odd at first. Likë, "Where's the severe looking Datin Matilda?"

Lol

Well it's not really that bad actually. She does look MUCH younger now.

I think I ate till I could barely walk! Haha. So much for a diet :P

Talked quite a bit (well they talked quite a bit - I listened more :P). It was a fun outing basically. Met up with friends, catching up with our beloved teacher. Laughing like maniacs :P

Nigel however, being oh-so-Nigel, had to actually leave early!

I mean, there we were celebrating, being merry and stuff, and he just decided that he had to zip away!

Well he did have not 1, not 2 but FIVE girls awating him...AT his house. Whatever for? Ask me not. Use your imaginations instead :P

(ok fine fine...It's for his Malaysian Society meeting-he's the president. But one does wonder as to why he's the only male meeting FIVE other females eh? ;) )

We went for mamak after sending Datin home. I was too tired to actually participate in the conversation. Lol.

So yeah. That's pretty much what happened recently.

Trying not to write something emo for a bit. I'm getting to be too...Soft :P

I'll update pics when I actually have a better connection than the one I have in uni.

Oh yeah, I'm in uni btw. This place sucks :(

Home is where the heart is

I was going through my bunch of keys the other day after having gotten a new set of locks...

When going through the keys, I noticed this copy of a key I keep for someone I...Care about.

So in trying to remember which key goes where, (as I've two identical looking keys - one for my gate and one for the front door) I noticed the front door key is nearer to that person's key, while the gate key is further.

And I was saying to myself, coincidentally, at the point where I was holding the door key:

"Home is where the heart is"

And it just hit me.

Usually when people say that, they mean, their home (that is to say their house), is where their heart is.

In my situation though, that certainly isn't the case. Yet when I said that, those words popped in my head, and meant something entirely different.

Home, is where the heart is.

What's so different though?

When you love someone so much, with every fibre of your being, with your heart and soul, then your heart, is WITH that person.

And because of that, that person IS your home. Wherever that person is, wherever she (or he) is, that place will be your home.

Dreams..,

Have you ever not want to go to sleep because you can't take the dreams?

Dreams that seem so much better than reality?

Have you ever not want to wake up from that dream? You just wish that the dream could be real? So that you'd not have to be so acquainted with sorrow?


Dreams that seem so real, that your heart ache with such regret, that the dream could not be? That dream will remain but a memory...A memory that would vanish with time...


Sigh.

I'm afraid to sleep nowadays.
For sleep brings about dreams.
And dreams brings about memories.
Memories best left forgotten.

But the body can only allow so little of sleep...

Sweet Disaster

My life seems to be in limbo currently. Too many things happening on the emotional front.

And to top that, two of my closest friends are leaving :(

Nigel's going back to Reading (no he isn't gonna go back to membaca something :P Ok ok lame I know *Chiong's gonna be so proud of me*)

Larnee's leaving as well.

Sobs.

Only a few select friends would still be here.

Sigh.

Something I wrote recently:

Betrayer of hope,
Bringer of darkness,
Prophet of doom,
Forever in sorrow's embrace...

And that,

Is what I feel best represents me...

Streamyx is here

Somehow, I'm not as excited anymore. Lost it's magic already. Not in the mood now.

Nothing seems to be going my way. Sigh.

Blood and bloody ashes...

So much for broadband freedom.

My modem got fried (I think). Will be dropping by the office of the agent I got it from. Bloody hell. So much for broadband bliss.

A New Era Has Come

Eh? What new era?

The era of broadband. The era of highspeed internet connection. The era where my broadband-forsaken place finally receives the light of salvation.

I GOT STREAMYX

w00t!

So yeah. I'm now surfing, and oh downloading some music (yes music dammit, not something else. And sweet mother, it doesn't lag my surfing!

So yes. No heads rolled in the making of "Mission: Get Streamyx".

:D

I'm happy!